In Which I Inherit 7.5 Million Dollars, Twice

My life is pretty darn exciting. That’s why I am starting a blog. Today, for example, I inherited 7.5 million dollars.

See, this lovely attorney by the name of Andrew Williams sent me an e-mail through my school e-mail account. He said he represented one Engl Mark, and that through exhaustive research had concluded that I was Mr. Mark’s next of kin. This entitles me to Mr. Mark’s fortune of 7.5 million dollars. They know I’m his heir, and I quote, “I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you bear the same last name.”

My last name is not Mark. It isn’t similar to Mark. I don’t have any relations, living or dead, by the name of Mark. Poor Mr. Williams must just be very confused.

Then I discovered that this is not the first time Engl Mark has offered me his fortune. In fact, in May 2010 his attorney Wade Scott sent me an almost identical e-mail offering me 7.5 millions dollars due to the fact and Mr. Mark and I apparently have the same last name.

How Mr. Mark managed to hire a new attorney while dead is a mystery to me.

Don’t say his family hired a new one — remember, I am his one and only next of kin.